My adventure called Motherhood.
Monday, February 29, 2016
Aloha dear achievers!
Aloha dear achievers!
But my adventure had a little twist since,
as usual, stubborn as I am, I had put in my mind that I am going for a normal
delivery no matter what. I did everything to prepare myself for it, whether
physically or psychologically. Healthy diet, fitness, yoga asanas, breathing
techniques, those pelvic exercises on the gym ball, swimming... oh the list
goes on! I was very intrigued by the pain a woman feels during labour and
obviously I googled it, youtubed it and regretted it. So I thought of asking
those women who've been through it. Couldn't be more relevant.
Asking my mum and my hubby's mum, they
both told me: "Oh you know it's just like period pain! Only 10 times
stronger. Its bearable." Ooookay. Then I asked my cousin sister, who gave
birth to a little princess too two months before me. Even she said: "Ah
you know it goes pretty quick. Three hard pushes and she's out. You'll be fine.
It's bearable."
Hmm. Bearable. And I carried on,
determined, like a bull. Normal delivery no matter what and I will bear it.
D-day came. The pain began, like normal
period pain. Ha! That's easy. And as the clock ticked, I started twisting and
turning on the bed, bending over the chair, breathing like a horse, wailing
like a whale, crushing my husband's hand (poor thing), and thinking of all
those who said that the pain is, bearable. Thanks!
I spent 10 hours in intense labour pain.
But to me I am going for normal delivery. I can do this! Breathe mama, breathe!!
But delivery is the last thing you can plan. I had to go for an
emergency c-section because my baby was as stubborn as her mother. C-section?
After all these efforts? I was shattered. Devastated. Disappointed. Frustrated.
Angry. Sad. It felt like I failed at something big. Suddenly I found myself having
to cope and manage a huge dose of mixed-emotions together with this agonizing
pain. Suddenly it felt like labour pain was more bearable than having to go
through surgery.
They pushed me into the operation theatre and I went for a final excruciating
pain, the epidural injection in the spine. I could not stop those tears of
regret. Then a midwife gently whispered to my ear:
My girl, it is not about normal delivery or c-section. It is about creating and giving life. You are about to do the noblest thing on earth; give birth to a human being. You have suffered a lot. You have suffered enough. You have been very strong. Now it is time you close your eyes, wipe those tears and just relax. We will do the rest. Do not worry, you will be fine. We are all here to look after you. Congratulations! You are about to see your baby!
I smiled knowing that I will soon see her little toes and fingers, and be able to kiss them.
Shortly after, Yumi was born and she raised her chubby hand to all of
us saying hello world, with grace!
Today she coos, cries and smiles like any other baby. And when I look at myself in the mirror, I cannot help but stare at my eyebrows that need a good threading, my face that need a good facial, my hair that needs a good cut, and my nails that once were painted with the latest flashy colour. But they just don't matter, like many other things that now come second.
That's why I want to tell you, girls, ladies, mothers, women, whatever
you call yourself, know that you are very very strong. You sacrifice many
things when you turn from an individual, into a mother. Someone now depends on
you a hundred percent. You become second. Your life changes 360 degrees, you
sleep less, eat fast, forget what to relax really means because your mind keeps
working, your career pauses and you even end up hibernating at home. To go
through this and accept it, you must be very strong and know that you are.
Trust me, no one is better at multitasking than a mother.
To all my ladies:
No matter how you deliver your child, normally or through surgery,
you have, at the end of the day, given life to a human who tomorrow will become
an individual of his/her own.
You are a warrior woman.
You are a Virago Woman.
6 comments
Love this post, even your writing style has evolved to a more emotional, inspiration style. Love every part of and wish you all the joy on your new adventure with little Yumi. Muuuaaahhhh
ReplyDeleteThank you very much my darling :)
DeleteI think Yumi has brought the best in me!
This was a really lovely post Dishina :) Many women are sure going to relate to your story. Congrats for the baby ^^
ReplyDeleteThank you Soudha :)
DeleteThey sure will!
Congrats on your baby girl! ♥ One thing's for sure, she's got a strong mama. :)
ReplyDeleteCongrats Dishina! ☺
ReplyDeleteThis is a very touching and inspiring post, it has really changed my way of perceiving motherhood!
Keep inspiring! ♥